I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
