And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
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The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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