So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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