ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
