I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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