I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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