His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
