I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
