you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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