Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
