During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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