Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
