So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
