I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have post one night stand depression
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