my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize