i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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