Nicole vs. Life
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
