CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
