My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
