My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
