I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
