And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
