Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you win again, gameday.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
