We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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