i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
