im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
