I'm lost and stupid without you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
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She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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