i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
