i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have fence marks all over my body
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
