I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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