I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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