I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
