please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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