I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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