I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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