Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
