You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
