wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
