just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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