$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
