next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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