Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so let's talk penis.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
