just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
