i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
