Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
