my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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