I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
