Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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