I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
