I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
