sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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