So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
