you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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