This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
