I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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