i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
