Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
