Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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