All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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