The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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