So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
