I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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