my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
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I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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