btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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